Most people put all interpersonal conflicts into one bucket – bullying. Behavior we call “bullying” is more complex than that. Much, much more. The kinds of behavior that are commonly referred to as “bullying” are in reality five different types of behavior requiring different approaches to resolve them.
Abrasive:
Abrasive types run meetings with an iron fist. They complain about team members’ competence, yet feel like the victim, and wonder why people won’t approach them. They are easy to coach and respond well to specialized coaching.
Manipulative Leadership:
Some managers that believe the proper way to motivate people is to use scare tactics and pit people against one another because it stimulates competition and improves productivity. They believe and say that people only perform if you make them. Manipulative leaders are tough clients for professional coaching, but they can learn new management styles.
Character Disorder:
These are people with genuine psychological issues. They are often extreme paranoid and narcissistic. Sometimes they have anxiety disorders or are sociopathic. Such disorders are difficult to control and can be terribly aggressive and scary. They definitely do not respond well to a reasoned request for improved behavior.
Strategic Aggression:
People displaying strategic aggression often work in very competitive fields such as law, medicine, or academia. They are extremely competitive and want to win. They gossip, lie, cheat, and destroy work in an effort to get ahead. But, the attacks are not personal either. If you are in a workplace that is hierarchical and competitive, then expect this type of aggressive behavior. This may seem to be “bullying” but it is really a function of the career path and workplace demands.
Bullies:
Bullies targets one person at a time. They often make their target the subject of public ridicule. The better or more competent their target, the more attacks. They attack one target, then move on to the next. They fear excellence in others and view people as either friends or enemies. The true bully is very hard to manage and a combination of responses will be needed to manage the behavior and stop the abuse.
I know from my 20 years of experience in workplace conflict resolution that a “one-size-fits-all” solution does not work. Commonly used options (including mediation, arbitration, leadership training, and litigation) rarely change the situation.
Truth is, every conflict situation is different, and each one requires customized expert analysis to determine the cause of the conflict and the correct approach to a solution. I provide results to ending all five kinds of conflict based on my 20 years of experience. See Scope of Services.
I provide results in resolving all kinds of conflict situations for individuals and corporations. If you find yourself facing any of these kind of conflicts, I’d be glad to help.
Please contact me.
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