Are you Thinking too Much about your Bully Situation? 10 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself during Trying Times

iStock_000004417753XSmall paper people 1 surroundedBeing the target of bullying behaviors is stressful, frustrating, and sickening. As anxiety goes up, health, sleep and life satisfaction goes down. You start obsessing on the situation, the bully, how to bring others to your aid, what to do next, how to escape. Before you know it, you slip and lose control of your life. Everything becomes dark and bleak and seemingly hopeless. Sound familiar! If so, then you know something has to change.

So, while you are trying to manage, and ultimately escape from a bullying situation, it is critical to Take Care of Yourself. Here are a few tips on getting bullying off your mind and adding fulfillment to your life.

  1. Make Plans With Friends. Have you forgotten how much better you can feel after a night out with friends? That’s typical for anyone suffering with bullying. Your world shrinks and you just want to hide. Resistance the urge to stay home and make plans for this coming weekend.
  2. Avoid Alcohol. Alcohol may take some anxious feelings away – at first – but quickly it adds to our depression so stay away from the spirits and avoid the nasty drunken weeping bar scenes. No one likes a depressed and angry party pooper.
  3. Go Outside. Again the pall of the bully situation may keep you inside but fresh air and some sunshine will help boost your mood and keep your situation in perspective.
  4. Avoid local News. Misery loves company but local news reports are rife with trauma, catastrophe, and doom! While this may validate your worldview, it does nothing to help you find solutions.
  5. Get Moving. Exercise, even a brisk walk, can help pump up your endorphins. Remember when you were fit and happy? You were getting your daily fix of happy hormones. Once we stop working out we forget how good it feels. If you need a buddy to get you back into the groove, then do so. Your new mantra: Exercise is My Friend.
  6. Plan and Cook Dinner. More and more we’ve become and eat-out society. Even in this economy many restaurants have patrons waiting to be seated for dinner. Try pulling out those recipe books and whipping up something luscious and just a bit challenging. Invite a few friends, set a beautiful table, and enjoy!
  7. Movies, Books & Music! Humor is a great healer so indulge yourself in something fun-my personal favorite fun movie is Sean of the Dead should boost your spirits. Go back to the library – you can borrow so many great books without overwhelming your budget or your shelf space. And with most on-line music services, you can pick your favorite tunes. Note: When I want to listen to opera, I know I’m slipping into depression. If you’re seeking sad movies, pain-ridden books, and love-lost music, fight the urge. Go for humor, mystery, and up beat to help you feel better.
  8. Start Crafting. Hobbies are great pastimes because they occupy your time, focus your attention, and build your confidence. Not sure about this? Start at the library by reviewing books relevant to an old crafting passion or a dream unfulfilled. As a knitter, I found a community, an intellectual pursuit, continuous challenges, and warmth and comfort in this craft.
  9. Take a Nap. You don’t have to do-do-do every minute. Rest is as important as activity. You’re working hard and dealing with bullying on top of that, you are going to need extra rest and down time. After you’ve had a nice long nap, start on that dinner party, or get ready to go out on the town.
  10. Create Your Own: What makes you happy? Remember back to when you were mostly happy? What was going on in your life? What were you doing that help feed your joy quotient? Do you believe you can be happy again? What one thing can you do today, for yourself that will help you feel happy? Can you do it for 5 – 10 minutes? Will you commit to it? Great. Get started.

Taking care of yourself is your other full-time job. Watch out for the slippery slope of frustration, self-doubt, and the desire for revenge. The longer you spend on this slope, the more emotionally brittle and confused you become. Pretty soon you will forget you have choices and options and then you become part of your problem. It’s up to you to seek help, guidance, and your path away from the bully situation. Start by taking a few steps in the right direction.